Delusional Gloom Blogfest! I chose what is probably the most morbid option, which is to write my own obituary. Here's what I was able to come up with on the fly:
Gina M. Ciocca, age 30, was found dead in her home on Tuesday, March 15th. Cause of death is undetermined, but Mrs. Ciocca was face-down in her keyboard, igniting suspicion that her last attempt at querying her unpublished novel may have done her in.
Gina is predeceased by her two grandfathers, Antonio, and Gino, for whom she is named. They are currently getting on her case in Heaven for being an Italian who doesn't speak Italian, or drink coffee, who rarely drinks wine, and has never been to Italy. Eternity is going to feel very long for this young woman.
She is survived by her loving parents, one sister, several siblings-in-law, and eleven first cousins, all of whom were taller and better looking than the deceased. To quote Gina: "WTF is up with that?" She is also survived by her beloved husband, the only person of those mentioned above to possess knowledge of Gina's secret attempts at authorhood. Mr. Ciocca says, "I knew she hated querying, but I never thought it would lead to this. What am I supposed to do now? I don't know how to cook!"
While cooking was not one of Gina's favorite past times, she enjoyed shopping, spending time with her loud and loving family, shopping, jogging, and of course, reading and writing. Gina was always in advanced reading classes in school, and forever had her nose in a book. She was famous for bringing books to parties and picnics, ignoring her mother's accusations of being anti-social. Though Gina later dropped her habit of bringing her own entertainment to parties, she adopted the motto, "I own my anti-socialness!" Sadly, she passed before realizing her dream of publication, and also before realizing her slightly more piddly dream of hosting a contest on her blog.
Ironically, the title of Gina's unpublished novel is Life Before Death. Currently, it is being burned, page by page, by her husband as he screams, "You're the reason she never wanted to watch TV with me!" Gina's friends and family take comfort in knowing she'll watch over them in Life After Death.