Sunday, December 26, 2010

Boys: The Unflattering Sequel

So after careful consideration, I've come up with the flip side of my Most Wanted list.  Whether they're sleazy, skeevy, or just plain creepy, these are the YA boys who will haunt my dreams for all the wrong reasons:

5) Tamani from Wings and Spells
Maybe it's the whole low-man-on-the-faerie totem pole that turns me off.  Or maybe it's just the green roots of his hair.  Or maybe it's that I find Laurel to be kind of bitchy and hate that David and Tamani fall all over her just because she's hot.  I like man who fights for what he wants, but begging a girl to love you?   Oh, no.  No one should have to beg, and especially not to a girl who readily admits she keeps her adoring hottie human boy so she doesn't have to be alone outside the faerie realm.  Total beyotch.  Grow a pair and get over her.

4) Mike Montgomery from the Pretty Little Liars series
Blue eyes and dark hair is almost always a winning combination in my book.  It might even distract me from the fact that his name is short for Michaelangelo.  But Mike Montgomery is the kind of guy who ruins his good looks every time he opens his mouth.  Immature AND perverted.  Now there's a winning combo * insert sarcasm here*.

3) Christopher from Flowers in the Attic
OK Chris, I know that at the time you were locked in the attic with your sister, it was at a very formative, very hormonal point in your life.  But she's still your SISTER for crying out loud!!  And you weren't in there forever!  Shake it off, buddy!  There are plenty of fish in the sea, and ones who come with the added bonus of not needing to worry about inbreeding.  Talk about not knowing when to get over it! 

2) Reth from Paranormalcy
So just as wolf boys kept popping up in my other list, faeries keep popping up on this one.  It's not that I have anything against faeries per se, but Reth (despite being short for "Lorethan", which I thought was a pretty sexy name) comes across as a total cretin.  Speaking in convoluted riddles?  Materializing in Evie's room unannounced?  Constantly telling her he wants to "fill" her?  Ewww!  It sounds like a romance novel euphemism for getting it on, except he supposedly has no interest in things of that nature (and WTF is up with that??)  I think that's enough strikes to take him out of the game.  Plus, the whole no-nipples-or-belly-button thing freaks me out a little.  You stick with your see-through water boy, Evie.  At least he's anatomically correct.

1) Ben from the Touch Series
So Ben has the power of psychometry, and can see flashes of your future when he touches you.  Look out though, because if it gets too intense, he may just end up hurting you.  I can only speak for myself, but if I had a crush on cute boy, the last thing I would want him to see is visions of my dead body when he puts his hands on me.  And then nearly crushing me from the effort of it?  How romantic.  But I guess it's better than actually BEING mysteriously dead, like his ex-girlfriend.  Or worse, being obsessed with Ben to the point of pathetic, like Camelia.  I know Ben is supposed to come across as brooding, mysterious, and tortured, but I just found him totally creepy.  Keep those psychometric paws off me.

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