Friday, April 22, 2011

Stuff that Scared the S-Word out of Me (And Still Does)

Yup, riding the A-Z coattails again. 

After Katie over at Creepy Query Girl posted about getting the heebie-jeebies from the Jabberwocky on J-day, it set off a landslide of traumatic childhood memories in me.

Okay, so maybe that's a bit dramatic, but there were so many things I watched as a child that scared the crap out of me.  And when I watch them now, you know what?  They're STILL scary!

Unico-1.jpgSome of them are children's shows that I can't believe were ever geared toward children.  The first one is a Japanimation cartoon that haunted my sister and me for years.  We'd go around asking people, "Have you ever seen Unico?  Have you ever seen Unico?" 

More often than not, we'd receive an answer of no, followed by looks of complete bafflement.  We started to think we'd imagined the whole thing: Unico, Katie the Kitty, the blue-haired devil with the ginormous mouth.  Sounds innocent, right?  Well, don't be fooled by the adorable photo you see here. 

Unico was a scary-ass cartoon.  It's like an acid trip meets night terror meets horror movie.  Especially the episodes with the bug-eyed dude in the orb.  Don't believe me?  Check out the video below.  And then tell me- have you ever seen Unico?  And would you let your children watch it?

View ImageThe second is an anime Jack and the Beanstalk from 1974 (so what the heck was it doing on TV in the 80's?) that is guaranteed to give you nightmares. 

Princess Margaret is kept under a spell by the evil Madame Hecuba (in the creepy department, Malefecent ain't got nothin' on Madame Hecuba), which must be renewed each night to make Margaret believe she's in love with the troll-ish oaf, Prince Tulip.

The center photo is Madame Hecuba renewing the spell on Margaret.  Did I not tell you she was scary?  As if she's not eerie enough, there's also the paper doll wedding, Jack's drugged dinner, the mysterious voices echoing down the hall singing run away Jack, far away Jack, run away Jack...

Those Japanese must have nerves of steel, because I'm still getting chills just writing this post!  Check out  Madame Hecuba in the creepy-ass flesh in the video below:

The next thing that scared me is a lot more mainstream, but I still can't figure out what my mother was thinking when she called me into her bedroom and said, "You have to see this, it's so neat." 

The "neat" thing in question?  That would be Michael Jackson's Thriller video.  And FYI, when there's werewolves and zombies and Vincent Price's shiver-worthy voiceover involved, "neat" is not exactly the word that comes to mind for a six or seven year old.  Thanks, Mom. 

It's kind of embarrassing to admit I was scared of this next one, because I have no clue why it freaked me out.  Maybe it was the body paint.  Maybe it was the slinking around in the body paint.  Maybe it's the way Simon Le Bon's lips seem to be their own self-contained entity.  Either way, I distinctly remember being frightened of Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf video.  Go ahead, laugh.  It's ridiculous.

So that's what sent me over the edge as a kid.  As an adult, I refuse to watch scary movies, because they stick with me.  I made the mistake of seeing The Ring in the theater, and boy do I wish I hadn't.  Now, I avert my eyes at commercials for scary movies, because I'm just that much of a wimp.

What shows/videos left you traumatized as a child?  Has anyone seen the ones on my list?


  1. *giggles* Oh you poor girl! I am older than you, so I will just get that out there right now, but I think the only actually SCARY programming when I was... say under 10... were the Sleestack in Land of the Lost, and then the mean sea monsters that mistreated Sigmund so badly... and though not quite SCARY, there was something about HR Puff-n-Stuff that was a least freaky. (and I think it was Jimmy's flute, rather than Witchypoo.)

  2. Oh yes scary... Children of the corn (living in Iowa not the greatest thing)... Stephen King's IT, and really any scary film!!!!

    I just saw Insidious yesterday and I had nightmares last night... it was pretty nuts!!!