Wednesday, February 29, 2012

There's No Crying in Baseball, But in Writing...

Alright, let's be honest.

How many times has your quest to be a tried and true author made you cry the ugly cry?



This post probably goes hand in hand with my last one about Writerly Fears, because as far as crying goes?

I. Hate. It.

It's something I try to do as little as possible, although being that I'm kind of sensitive, I don't always succeed in that mission. Because put me in front of a movie with innocent people getting bullied? I cry. An episode of Smallville where young Lex Luthor is crying because no one came to his birthday party? Oh, damn straight, I'm crying right along with him. And Extreme Makeover Home Edition? Don't EVEN get me started.



But as far as Writing and The Mission to Be Published goes, there's only one tick mark under "Times I've Ugly Cried."

It was last year, around the time Write On Con was happening. My novel didn't fit the YA genre, and I was forced to let it hang out in the no man's land known as the "Other" forum. There it languished, unnoticed by agents and fellow writers alike, while all the YA entries were getting more traffic than Grand Central Station.

On one day in particular, Twitter blew up like crazy with everyone cheering over their WOC requests, and with each one new tweet, my stomach sank lower and lower until guess what showed up in my inbox?


Yup. A form rejection. Yet another one.

It was the straw that broke my back. I felt hopeless and worthless, and I cried the entire car ride home from work, the whole time I made dinner, and then the whole time I ate, until I fell into bed, exhausted, at 9:30 p.m.



Since then, I've faced rejections on fulls and partials, and of course, numerous query rejections. I've had plenty more moments where I've been certain I'll never succeed in this game, had countless more times where I've questioned my intelligence and my ability to write.

But I've never again cried about it, and to this day, I can't figure out why that was the moment that shattered me.

What about you, peeps? Do you rack up frequent cryer miles over your writing endeavors, or do you take it all in stride?

15 comments:

  1. Sometimes, you have to hit the bottom so you can start that climb back up.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I'm pretty sure that was my rock bottom moment. I'd already been rejected so many times, and it was starting to feel like no one would ever show interest in my project. They did, eventually, but it's hard to hold out hope for that moment when you're convinced it isn't coming. Thanks for stopping by :)

      Delete
  2. Twice. The first rejection on a sub for each manuscript. I think it's because, up till that point, I was confident the MS actually had a shot. It's kind of the first "you totally suck" of the querying season. (And, yeah, subjective, blah blah.)

    At least now I know when to expect it for #3.

    I seriously admire you, G, for not crying more than that. No joke. It's tough out there.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, believe me, I keep waiting for that second tick mark to show up, and if my poor LYM keeps getting the shaft, it will be sooner rather than later!

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  3. Oh God, you used the crying baby picture. *cringes*

    But now that I think about it, I don't think I've cried the ugly cry. At least not out of sadness. I did when L sent me that first email after finishing ALEX. I don't think I get sad at this stuff, but I do get angry.

    Still, I agree with L. Were I a less stubborn person, you can be sure I'd be crying all over the place. And I know those reqs for LYM are going to come rolling in soon--just wait. :D

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  4. More like a bruised forehead from hitting it too many times against the wall. :)

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  5. I've never cried over rejections, and I don't know why, because I cry pretty easily. I'm sure I will eventually. I've never been rejected on a full, so I'm sure I'll cry when that happens.

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  6. I didn't cry from agent rejections for either of the books I queried. I racked up a lot of rejections, and there were times I WANTED to cry (like the first rejection on a sub), but mostly it was a lot of fist shaking and facepalming lol.

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  7. I'm not much of a cryer, but I definitely get disheartened when all those rejections come pouring in. I have to keep busy so I won't think about them too much. And just keep writing.

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  8. Crying is therapy, tension releasing and also releases good chemicals throughout your body's system. Basically, it's good to cry.

    Never have submitted anything (yet) to any agent/publishing house I can't quite identify with everything your posters are saying. Though when I write I tend to get caught up in the moment and have the odd weep during the writing of what is, to my mind, an emotionally charged scene. Or maybe my subconscious is telling me my writing is crap, I don't know?

    Good post topic :)

    Regards,

    Mark

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  9. I cried a lot in the beginning (4 years ago). Every rejection was the end of the world. I've learned not to let them get to me. I hated being miserable all the time. The show must go on!

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  10. I can't remember ever having cried over subs... but I've definitely cried over my writing. Mostly because I was either killing off characters--or rather, when I wrote their last good moments before killing them off--or I was writing highly emotional scenes. :D

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  11. "Frequent cryer miles." *giggle*

    I'm not really a cryer, but I have stomped around and yelled at people a few times during this writing/querying process. More with writing than querying, for me, I've found...I tend to just mope a little over R's.

    Hope today is a happy day. :)

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  12. As Pumba sings, "I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick-skinned." And yes, I've cried, a little. Not a whole lot like collect all my tears and water a desert lot, but yeah, I've cried about my writing. Been a few years because it's been a while since I got some of my first form rejections on a different project and I just couldn't understand what was wrong, taking it personally when I shouldn't have. Thankfully, I wasn't silly enough to reply back and black-ball myself for life.

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