Story-wise, I'm finding this impossible.
They say you never get over your first love, and whoever "they" are must have met me in another life. I can't let go of my first novel because I fell in love with it, even though it's fairly obvious no agent is ever going to do the same.
I'm even working on a new story, but it isn't helping. So what am I doing wrong?
1) Encouraging my CP's to draw me pictures of the character I just might love most of all:
Chessie. How amazing is she? How amazing is he? Those blue eyes! That devilish grin! The trenchcoat! HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY!
But right after I almost bawled from happiness, I wanted to bawl from sadness. Why? Because no one will ever know Michael if he's stuck in a Word Document that wasn't "the right fit" for all the agents I queried. And that makes me very, very sad.
2) Not Hitting Fast Forward on the Ipod when LBD-related songs come on.
I never had an official playlist while I was writing. It was more like I'd hear a song and think this fits perfectly! So naturally, I put them all on my Ipod.
But now, what happens every time I hear The First Time by Lifehouse, or Some Hearts by Carrie Underwood, or even Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know by Britney Spears (yeah, I said it.)? Oh, that's right. I want to bawl. Again.
3) I Compare my WiP to my finished MS. Constantly.
Why is it taking me so much longer to write this one? Why don't I hear these characters talking in my head 24/7 like I did the last time? Why does my word count seem to inch up at a deathly slow pace that makes me want to gouge my eyes out when my last ms was 96K after 4 months?
Yeah. Comparing and contrasting doesn't fly in relationships, and it doesn't fly in writing, either. So why can't I let go?
Because I still love this story, and I still believe in it. And, because I just counted the actual number of rejections I received, and I'm only at 15. That's nothing compared to the rejections other authors racked up before landing their agents.
So I've decided to tweak my query again, and keep going until I reach a number of rejections worth crying over, or until someone offers rep - whichever comes first. But even then... will the love affair end?
Tell me, peeps. Do you have a story sitting in your drawer that you still pine for?