Monday, May 30, 2011

Giving New Meaning to "Bitch in Heat"

If a picture paints a thousand words, than this one should say it all:

I do not like to be hot.  Alright, let's not mince words: I am a raging beyotch when I'm hot.  If I lived in an area where the temperature never dropped below 80 degrees, I would be friendless and insane.

I've come pretty close to being both of those things over the last week, as it's been 80+ and humid here in CT, and I live in a house without central air. 

We haven't put our window a/c in the bedroom yet, either, which means I haven't been sleeping well.  Which means I'm hot AND tired - a deadly combo.  Throw in hungry, and whoa, you do not even want to know me.

The picture above was taken at a wedding with an outdoor cocktail hour, on the hottest day of the year up to that point.  There was nowhere I could go to escape the sun, or the humidity.  My husband thought it would be hilarious to show me what I look like when I'm blatantly agitated, hence the get-out-of-my-overheated-face-or-die expression I'm wearing.  I'm sure I've worn that same expression several times this week. 

But who can blame me?  Is there anyone out there who actually enjoys the feeling of being swollen from head to toe?  The sensation of sweat and dirt sticking to your face, and the subsequent clogging of pores and breakouts?  The frizzy, unmanagable hair?  The feeling that your lungs and stomach are being compressed inside your body and threatening to jump right out?

The real conundrum is that I ADORE the beach.  I love flip flops and tank tops and pedicures.  I love summer cookouts, and I love being able to walk outside without putting on sixteen layers of clothing first.  To those things I say, BRING ON SUMMER!

But the excessive heat and humidity?  Keep it.  Unless I'm dealing with it in a place like this:

ARUBA!  My true love

So how do y'all beat the heat?

4 comments:

  1. I'm a CT girl myself (Grew up in Plainfield and went to UCONN before moving to France) and still visit family there often. I always prefered the cold and HATE being hot as well. At least in winter you can remove a layer of clothes. In summer, I've contemplated taking off my skin. I can't stand outdoor markets or fairgrounds when its hot. I need a water source nearby- a beach, lake or pool otherwise all bets are off. SO I guess I'm a lot like you in that department, lol.

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  2. I'm with you about the heat. We don't get too many of those days where I live in Canada (though some places, like Toronto, get impossibly hot and humid), though a few warmer days would be nice this year (warmer but not hot!)

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  3. Haha, oh my goodness, NEVER COME TO TEXAS. You might die. It's so hot and humid here, but I love it. :)

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  4. Oh man, I'm to cold to answer. Send your heat my way and I'll send some chilly winds your way, see what happens.

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