Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Confidence = Creativity

I'm finding that my ability and my desire to write lately is directly linked to my self confidence.  And at this point, pickin's are slim.  When I was inspired to write my first book, I wrote a little bit every day.  I heard conversations in my head constantly.  I was so determined to get the words down on the page that I finished in what I thought was damn good time.  Right after that, I created an outline of another story based on two smaller characters from the first.  I've written a good portion of it, and have a pretty good idea of what the unwritten portions will entail.  But the newest idea that presented itself has been a bit of a challenge.  I know it's a good concept.  I know I can make it an enjoyable read.  But given my e-mail inbox has been utterly silent since my re-entry to the world of querying (I know, a whopping 13 days ago), I can't help feeling like I might be wasting my time.  It doesn't seem wise to spend all this time nurturing these babies when I have a full time job, a house, a husband, and a lot of other things going on.  My dream is to devote myself to a writing career, but how do I know if I'm good enough? 

Now, when I start to write I'm finding myself staring blankly at the screen.  The concept that spun through my head like a whirlwind a few weeks ago has been disconcertingly quiet since.  I'm not obsessing over how to fill in the plot holes.  I'm not hearing witty banter in my head.  And it isn't because I don't want to write the story.  I just want to know I'm not wasting my time doing it.  Especially since the story in question is a prequel to the book I'm currently querying.  If I can't garner interest in that one, the other two are pretty much a done deal.  And not in a book deal sort of way. 

I need some positive feedback to feed my creativity!  This sucks!   

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