Wednesday, December 14, 2011

All I Want For Christmas...


Guys, I haven't worked on my WiP in about a week, and it's stressing me out. Yesterday I was seriously pondering the question asked in my CP Leigh Ann's blog post: What's the Rush?

And I was all, Hmm what IS the rush?

Now bear in mind that the question came on Day 4 of a four-day weekend, when I'd been away from the stress of my job long enough to have a false sense of free time (if shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning, and running errands can be considered "free time").

Then Tuesday came.

Just one hour of being back in my office reminded me of exactly what my rush is: I want to do what I love.

I want to do what I love, not have to sneak it in in my spare moments, on borrowed time, and then feel guilty about it.
I want to create something that other people love as much as I do.
I want to feel insanely proud of myself.
I want to know what it feels like when people say that if you're doing a job you love, you never work a day in your life.

I don't get any of that from my day job.

So that, peeps, is my rush. Writing is so much more than a hobby to me, so being on Day 6 of Writing Drought where I've had zero time to get words down on paper, I feel like I'm dying a little inside. Funny though... I never feel that way about a six-day separation from job.

How about you? Do you ever feel like your very happiness hinges on the stories in your head? (And yes, I'm being intentionally dramatic.)


  1. Sit down and write one sentence. It can be really bad, riddled with mistakes, and make no sense ... just write it anyway. Come back a little later and write another and then another. If you are like me, you will probably delete those few sentences, but the process, not matter how useless it may seem, will nudge your muse into action. And before you know it, you will have a usable paragraph, a great scene, an amazing chapter.

  2. I totally agree with everything you said here. I never missed my old job when I took some time off it. Not so with writing (although I'm getting better than I used to be).

    I'm having those frustrated moments too. I'm planning my new project, but it's taking more time than usual. But that's because I want to get it right this time. The book I'm querying when through major rewrites several times (fortunately before I started querying). This could have been avoided if I had planned the book right to begin with. Lesson learned.

    With the holiday season rapidly approaching, I'm finding I have less time to work on the book. :( Fortunately that will change come January.

  3. We all have those moments. If you write a little at at time, it will come back. I think it's all right to feel this way as you have invested so much time into this story.

    I'm sure you have an amazing story.

  4. Yes! I'm so with you. Sometimes at work, I think: why am I still here? why hasn't this worked out for me yet?

    It is such a selfish, prideful thought, but it is all wrapped up in that idea of wanting to do what I love, not what has to be done to survive. I've actually had the thought--if I stop paying my student loans for long enough, maybe they'll throw me in jail and I'll have the time to write. Of course--that wouldn't happen (and of course, I don't actually want it to happen), but it is the drive to focus on what I love that pushes me to such crazy thoughts.

    And I know this WiP is going to be fabulous--that little excerpt you posted the other day is so intriguing. The moment you emailed me was heart stopping. I can't wait to read it, and I know I'm not the only one!

  5. I get it <3 and that's why I don't want to end up at a job I hate. I'm so afraid of not having time to write it's ridiculous. it's like my security blanket at this point.

  6. I'm looking for my purpose. In that purpose, I am hoping it won't feel like an act of drudgery. I seek love in the excitement of fulfilling my purpose; which would also in turn, fill my pockets. I say, forget about it for a day and go outside and play...(or inside somewhere if the weather is too bad)

  7. YES!!! If I could make writing my 'day job' life would be awesome.

    Until that time, I set the alarm a little earlier, so I can start the day doing what I love...writing. Sets the tone for the day and I've had all those lulls in the day job to mull over what's next. I've found my daily word count has increased over time by writing first. After coffee, of course :)

    So rush is good but I'd argue there are time to take your time. Like after you think a book is finished. Let it sit and then go back with fresh eyes and a slightly less story-drenched brain. That revisit of the story can be filled with goodness!

  8. Yes, I think we've all felt that way. I stopped by via the DeJa Vu link. I'm a new follower. It's nice to meet you.