Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Songs That Could Have Used Crit Partners

Since I'm in not in the best frame of mind for a new blog post today, I thought I'd re-run an oldie but goodie. Have a good day, everyone.

Maybe it's the writer in me that needs things to flow in a logical, sensical order.  I love music, and I can truly appreciate a song with a good beat, creative lyrics, catchy hook etc.  But all it takes is one little line to throw off the whole experience for me. 

You know how it is (if you're neurotic like I am).  You're singing along, enjoying the song, and then all of a sudden you listen to what you've just sung and think... what??  Did that even make sense?

Just for fun, I've compiled a list of the songs that send my neurosis spiraling out of control.  I give you The Lackluster Lyric List (or in some cases, just plain stupid):

Song: How Do You Sleep?
Artist: Jesse McCartney
Lyric: How do you stay awake knowing all I do is think of you?

Wait... weren't we questioning her ability to sleep, not stay awake?

Song: Two is Better Than One
Artist: Boys Like Girls
Lyric: I remember every look upon your face/the way you roll your eyes the way you taste/You make it hard for breathing

Really?  Eye rolling is sexy now?  'Cause I always thought it was perceived as rude and kinda bitchy.  I would have gone with something like the pretty way you smile/the way you taste...  But if bitchy is hot then hey... talk to me once a month when I'm the hottest girl on the planet!

Song: All I Have to Give
Artist: The Backstreet Boys
Lyric: Does he leave/when you need him the most/Does his friends get all your time?

BAD GRAMMAR ALERT!  TERRIBLE GRAMMAR ALERT!  The English major in me cringes at this song, each and every time.  I've heard of poetic license but this is just wrong!

Song: You're In My Heart

Artist: Rod Stewart
Lyric: The big bosomed lady with the Dutch accent/who tried to change my point of view/Her ad lib lines were well rehearsed/but my heart cried out for you

Anyone else see something wrong with that sentence? Her AD LIB lines were well rehearsed? Isn't ad libbing the art of coming up with something on the spot, UNrehearsed? Now my husband pointed out Rod may be using ad lib tongue-in-cheek.  But, since I never interpreted it that way, and since it negates my whole arguement, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear him.  So which is it, Rod, ad lib or well rehearsed? Because it sure as heck can't be both.

Song: Into the Night
Artist: Benny Mardones
Lyric: She's just sixteen years old/Leave her alone they say/Separated by fools/who don't know what love is yet.

This song literally enrages me.  Here is this middle-aged dude singing about his lust for a sixteen year old, and he thinks it's everyone else who has the problem?!  For shame!  Unfortunately, when you can only tune in to easy listening stations in your office, this song is going to crop up a lot.  Which makes me wonder who thought borderline pedophilia qualified as easy listening in the first place.

So there you have it.  Did I miss any?  Have I ruined these songs for you?  Or am I the only one who lets stuff like this drive them up the wall?


  1. haha, love this! have you heard fireflies by owl city? the line 'i'd like to make myself believe, that planet earth turns slowly' cracks me up. seriously. it DOES turn slowly, just in case the songwriter wasn't aware. maybe it's my dismal comprehending skills when it comes to songs, but the whole song seems to be construed of strangely-worded verses.

  2. That whole song is a crime! Hugs from lightning bugs and fireflies teaching him how to dance? It sounds like something written on an acid trip, LOL!

  3. Okay, you are far too awesome to be in association with me.

    This entire post is hilarious, and made me hug my computer.

    How's the WiP? Want me to alpha read something? *bats eyes* *rubs hands together greedily*

  4. LOL! Your critiques of these lyrics made me laugh! I guess to be a song writer, you don't actually need to be a writer.

  5. Hilarious. I love this. I do it too, but I've never formally complained. Again, this is amazing. :)

  6. Hey! Decided to come check out your blog...

    Hilarious. I still can't listen to "Written in the Stars" without thinking, "If it's written in the stars, it's a hell of a lot more than a hundred miles away!" And have you ever heard "Running Out of Time" by Simple Plan? Tell me what's wrong with these lyrics:

    We're running out of time,
    And you just don't get it
    You're watching people die,
    And you still don't care
    We're running out of time,
    And you just don't get it
    If everybody dies,
    Will you still don't care?